A Special Edition: On Monkey Business

I know, I said last week we would be back to the normal posting schedule. A barrel full of monkeys got in the way.

Let me explain.

My husband crossed an item off his bucket list this last weekend. He attended Monday night’s Green Bay Packers game when they lost to the Chicago Bears.

Before he left—in what can only be called a “Tawanda” move (vis-a-vis GOING-FOR-IT)—a young woman took a chance in the fog from a side street. She gunned it and crossed six lanes on a state highway to get to the road on the other side.

What you can’t see, can’t hurt you, right?

The oncoming traffic scattered, tires protested, and horns blasted.

They collided in the final lane. Leaving them both without a bumper, one front tire and one rear time respectively, but no major injuries.

I drive a sub-compact—my husband is 6’5”—and can only sit at an angle resembling upright, if the sun roof is open. His knees embedding themselves in the dash—also encroaching on his chest, and his shoulders touching mine.

Whenever he rides in the car, it doesn’t get a fancy moniker like “Air Force One,” we call it “The Clown Car.”

Not a comfortable ride when you’re recovering from an accident.

My father, who lives with us, felt obligated to chaperone all of our time together before my husband left town. He didn’t want anything happening to either of us. But it does put a dent in the love life.

Thanks, Dad, for caring.

If you read my special edition post several weeks ago, you may remember me saying “being self-employed gives flexibility but it also takes flexibility.” During the intervening days before his departure—dealing with the police, insurance, and body shops—we received multiple reminders of upcoming re-certification exams scheduled over the next several weeks. Time to review.

So no monkey business because of a barrel full of monkeys. It feels like a performance of Balinese Monkey Chant. Never seen it?

*Fannie cues up the Balinese Monkey Chant.*

The happy news is my husband’s back in town and has his truck. And unlike Leonard and Penny, we know we’ll be together—even if it’s in a clown car with a chaperone.

Leonard and Penny, on the other hand, will have to wait and see.

Depending on our testing schedule, there may be more special editions . . . adieu until next week.


About Fannie Cranium

Writing since she could first hold a pen, Tracy Perkins formed her alter ego, "Fannie Cranium" at the suggestion of her husband. Tracy understands smiling makes people wonder what she’s been up to.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Special Edition: On Monkey Business

  1. Liz says:

    Big fan of your special ed’s, Fannie. Not a fan of accidents and so glad you and your husband are ok. What a week. Thanks for the clips. Am betting Fannie and friends will benefit from your troubles.


  2. allen.katie9@gmail.com says:

    Crazy! Glad everyone’s okay

    Sent from my iPhone



  3. aplscruf says:

    Good lord, you two have such eventful lives! Glad you’re back to “normal”. And I’ve never seen the Balinese Monkey Chant. That was Something!! Except, I really wanted to see some actual monkeys…kinda thought they’d pop out and start dancing!


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